Last night we got into a fight. I instigated, he withdrew. And now I find I'm more confused about this relationship than ever before. We're changing, or at least one of us is. I'm not sure about us anymore...but to be fair, I was never sure about us. And I don't know how he feels because he is an empty heart.
It's funny I get upset with him for not being an open and honest book to those around him when here I am, keeping my feelings hidden from view because I don't think he'd understand and I'm scared to take the chance.
The Dilemma: He's not the man he advertised himself to be and I'm not willing to settle for who he is now.
I believe a man; a partner...should be connected in a way no friend or foe can break through or take away from. Last night I was shown I am not with THAT partner. Instead I am with a man...a boy really, who would prefer to make a mockery of my feelings with our mutual friends. That hurt. It hurt that he threw me under the bus and it hurt more to see the text messages and laughing at my expense. Mutual friend no more.
I feel betrayed, ridiculed, sad, confused.
I can't wait until these feelings pass and I feel nothing.
I can't wait until these feelings pass and I feel nothing.
