I found myself thumbing through memory lane this evening as I organized photos from years gone by. The memories and curiosity led me on a massive online hunt for two friends I haven't seen or spoken to in about twenty years.
The first, my best/only real friend from kindergarden through maybe a few years of grade school (...the timeline is foggy). We weren't in the same class but we lived near each other and we'd often get together with our dad's for fun weekend outings.
The second, my best friend from middle school. We had a lot of fun and got into a little trouble together as we sorted our way through puberty. I admired her and looking back; I was definietly her awkward sidekick, though I didn't feel like it at the time. She was beautiful and cool and all the boys like her, plus she shopped at places like Nordstrom and always had the best name brands of clothing and shoes.
With a few memories like parent names and the area they lived - oh, and the Nexis account I still have access to for another week, I set out to track them down! My search results were limited...both women have all but zero existence on the internet and social media sites, google, linkedin, etc. This instantly had me thinking, "Was it me?" followed shortly after by, "No personal information available online, how DO you do that?!".
The few facts I was able to uncover saddened me greatly. I have no idea where or what my kindergarden pal is up to now but I did find that her mother passed away in 2005. One year before my friend would have graduated high school. My middle school friend has a mug shot listed with a few arrest records for multiple possessions of a controlled substance and DUI's. I don't know what happened to these women, but I hope they are OK.
I can't help but feel guilty that despite all the circumstances, the scenarios, the accusations whispered from others that I was the bad influence because I came from a broken home and the doubt placed upon my mother that her children would never amount to anything because we are "products of divorce"; how did I make the cut?
How am I the one that is OK?
It's an aha moment, that's for sure. I am so lucky. So blessed. So amazed that I somehow turned out OK- more than OK. I called my mother to ask her how we got so lucky...prayer, she said. I am so humbled the Lord protected me from what could have been. I don't deserve this good fortune but I am so grateful for the honor.
The first, my best/only real friend from kindergarden through maybe a few years of grade school (...the timeline is foggy). We weren't in the same class but we lived near each other and we'd often get together with our dad's for fun weekend outings.
The second, my best friend from middle school. We had a lot of fun and got into a little trouble together as we sorted our way through puberty. I admired her and looking back; I was definietly her awkward sidekick, though I didn't feel like it at the time. She was beautiful and cool and all the boys like her, plus she shopped at places like Nordstrom and always had the best name brands of clothing and shoes.
With a few memories like parent names and the area they lived - oh, and the Nexis account I still have access to for another week, I set out to track them down! My search results were limited...both women have all but zero existence on the internet and social media sites, google, linkedin, etc. This instantly had me thinking, "Was it me?" followed shortly after by, "No personal information available online, how DO you do that?!".
The few facts I was able to uncover saddened me greatly. I have no idea where or what my kindergarden pal is up to now but I did find that her mother passed away in 2005. One year before my friend would have graduated high school. My middle school friend has a mug shot listed with a few arrest records for multiple possessions of a controlled substance and DUI's. I don't know what happened to these women, but I hope they are OK.
I can't help but feel guilty that despite all the circumstances, the scenarios, the accusations whispered from others that I was the bad influence because I came from a broken home and the doubt placed upon my mother that her children would never amount to anything because we are "products of divorce"; how did I make the cut?
How am I the one that is OK?
It's an aha moment, that's for sure. I am so lucky. So blessed. So amazed that I somehow turned out OK- more than OK. I called my mother to ask her how we got so lucky...prayer, she said. I am so humbled the Lord protected me from what could have been. I don't deserve this good fortune but I am so grateful for the honor.
