It had to happen this way. The seven year itch stung me hard and I threw my inhibitions to the wind on a gamble I knew wouldn't end well. Now I'm stuck in a torturous replay of the past 60 days, recounting every mistake I made and realizing how my own shortcomings made me end up alone.
I'll back up a bit so you can catch up.
I've always been in a relationship. I'm just that kind of girl. I meet a boy, I like a boy and boom - my life is devoted to that boy. Not solely devoted mind you - I'm still a very independent person with my own job and finances and family life...but I've always found myself in a relationship. A security I didn't realize I held so dear until my boyfriend of seven years and I split. My choice, my mistake.
There had been waves of unhappiness throughout the years. Me wondering if there was someone out there I would have more passion with. A deeper connection with. My relationship was fine. But fine wasn't good enough for me. I bought into the idea of true love and couldn't settle for "fine". I wanted more. And then I met a coworker.
I wasn't particularly attracted to him at first but somewhere during week two on the road I was smitten. He was so debonair I had to have him. We started texting and flirting and he called me his "set girlfriend". A joke that had truth to it as we both liked one another and wound up in each others hotel rooms getting acquainted. He knew I had a boyfriend and we both knew it was wrong to carry on the way we were but we let temptation get the best of us.
It was amazing to like someone like this again. The fresh excitement of a new relationship was a drug I couldn't get enough of. I was ready to run off and marry this man and we'd work out the nitty gritty details of life along the way. Mistake number one.
I got ahead of myself. And I'm fairly certain it scared him away.
I'll back up a bit so you can catch up.
I've always been in a relationship. I'm just that kind of girl. I meet a boy, I like a boy and boom - my life is devoted to that boy. Not solely devoted mind you - I'm still a very independent person with my own job and finances and family life...but I've always found myself in a relationship. A security I didn't realize I held so dear until my boyfriend of seven years and I split. My choice, my mistake.
There had been waves of unhappiness throughout the years. Me wondering if there was someone out there I would have more passion with. A deeper connection with. My relationship was fine. But fine wasn't good enough for me. I bought into the idea of true love and couldn't settle for "fine". I wanted more. And then I met a coworker.
I wasn't particularly attracted to him at first but somewhere during week two on the road I was smitten. He was so debonair I had to have him. We started texting and flirting and he called me his "set girlfriend". A joke that had truth to it as we both liked one another and wound up in each others hotel rooms getting acquainted. He knew I had a boyfriend and we both knew it was wrong to carry on the way we were but we let temptation get the best of us.
It was amazing to like someone like this again. The fresh excitement of a new relationship was a drug I couldn't get enough of. I was ready to run off and marry this man and we'd work out the nitty gritty details of life along the way. Mistake number one.
I got ahead of myself. And I'm fairly certain it scared him away.
