Wishes Of A Self-Described Weenie

All week long I've been obsessed in thought about another man. I don't know why I'm suddenly entranced with thoughts and memories of him but it's driving me crazy thinking about this person night and day. My heart tells me he could have been "the one" and that I'm not with the right one right now. My head tells me it's too late and that I'm not even looking for "the one" so I should just stay put. Yet the pull on my heart strings has me wanting to break-the-mold, give it a shot and at least finish this unfinished business....but I'm such a weenie I know I'll never make a move. *sigh*

You see, to dive into this situation means I hurt someone. And that someone has done nothing to deserve the hurt of my selfish urges. Yes, it's my life and I should do what makes me happy and blah, blah, blah, me,me,me but putting yourself first is not always the right choice. I feel a loyalty to this person I am now with--it's not the passionate romantic love that I dream about-- but its a comfortable relationship. To be honest, I'd feel guilty putting myself first and breaking off what we do have. I wish we were more but lately we feel routine.

 I just wish these other thoughts would go away or that some sort of sign would appear (and folks, I'm talking HUGE OBVIOUS sign) to make me act upon my hearts desire to free myself and give this a shot.