For months boyfriend and I planned to attend his best friends wedding. Boyfriend was the Best Man so I had settled on the idea I would sit solo in the audience while he did his Best Man duties....little did I know what was about to ensue. Granted, I should have known exactly what was about to ensure given my knowledge of the wedding plans coming together and falling apart.
One month before the wedding we receive our invitations. Pretty sure proper etiquette says one month is not enough time, especially for those who need to make travel plans.
Two weeks before the wedding I am told the Maid of Honor (backup Maid of Honor by the way since number one said she didn't want to do it) backs out because of car trouble. She spent money to fix her car and now could not afford to come to the wedding. Side note: If one of my best friends was getting married I would spend whatever it took to get me to that wedding. Apparently now the Groom's sister is Maid of Honor.
One week before the wedding I am informed boyfriend is the only one (out of four groomsmen, three ushers and two fathers) who has gone in for a Tuxedo fitting and paid the deposit on the rental. At this point, I would be a raging Bridezilla. I don't know how this girl did this without a total breakdown.
48-hours before the wedding: Boyfriend texts me and asks what size I am. My immediate reaction is, "Shit.". Turns out one of the bridesmaids had to bail on the wedding due to some medical problem leaving me as the only one who might, and I stress, MIGHT, fit into the dress.
30-hours before the wedding: I arrive (earlier than planned) to the wedding destination and try on the dress. I quoted myself as a size 6 or 8 and this dress is a 4. Somehow it fits like the dress was made for my body...with only the small problem that no deep breaths are allowed or else the dress will pop. Is this what models go through? No big deal, the dress fit fine enough...crisis averted. I just can't eat anymore until after the ceremony.
24-hours before the wedding: We line up for the wedding rehearsal where I am informed I am the "Maid of Honor". Whoa, whoa, what???!!?? Turns out the medical emergency came from the Maid of Honor, and since I fit in the dress I got the gig. Her two sisters were in the wedding party, personally I would have upgraded one of them and left me as a lowly bridesmaid.
At wedding: As we line-up to walk down the aisle the Bride's 4-year-old son has a total meltdown. Yikes. Somehow he pulls it together and makes it down the aisle as Ring Bearer. Time for Bride to come down the aisle but no one stands for her. Feeling like it's my time to shine I motion for the audience to stand, finally they rise. The Bride walks beautifully down the aisle to meet her Groom and the Minister begins reading scripture. Notice no one has been asked to be seated yet?? THEY'RE ALL STILL STANDING!! I figure the Minister will ask everyone to be seated after the scripture reading but no. The Minister continues right on into the vows. Sensing the awkward tension behind me and hearing muddled whispers of "Can we sit?" I turn and once again motion that it's OK to sit down. They sit and my duties as Maid of Honor are done.
Gosh I hate weddings.
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