As if it weren't enough to get patted down and my belongings searched as I enter the high school gym preparing for my high school graduation ceremony (which I might add the roses my mother gave me were also confiscated) here comes the grand photo-op: a time for smiles and laughs as mom and dad squeeze in tight for the "yay I did it" photo....WRONG. I never got said photo. No, no, Mom and Dad are alive and well. Divorced, yes. Civil? Hell no.
I stood there ready for my mom and pop pic when suddenly my step-mom rushes off with my younger brother in a tizzy. Dad follows- equally panicked and I stand there confused as to what is happening. Apparently the thought of a picture with my Mom and Dad was a faux-pas and might as well have been listed in the ten commandments for the reaction it got. This time will be different.
3.5 years later I bust my butt (and my finances) for a lovely piece of paper that says again, "yay- I did it!" But this time its a college degree I will be celebrating- with yet another graduation ceremony- this time I am getting my damn picture. Maybe...
I discussed it with the step-mom who assured me (I should have had her sign a dotted line) that she would be fine with a picture but its my dad who is uncomfortable with the idea of being seen with my mother. They have been divorced for 13 years- slept together at least twice (hence the birth of my older brother and myself) and are BOTH remarried. What is there to be awkward about? I just want a photo with both of my parents- is that too much to ask? I have two photos of my family all together and I was too young to remember either moment. I want a picture of my family- I dared to ask for more but I was quickly returned to the reality that my request was impossible.
Apparently a bbq and cake after the ceremony is too much because father and step-mom and younger half-brother will not be there- once again I have to split my time between my two parentals just like I have been for the past 17 years. I am tired of it. Its stressful and depressing. They do not know what they do to me. They are too caught up in an awkward 2 second moment of smiling for the camera.
Hence my reason #347 of why I do not wish to marry. The sheer awkwardness on my families part at the wedding. Where does everyone sit? Do I have two ceremonies? Do I get some flippin' pictures or are those separate as well? Will photoshop need to be used to fuse a full picture of my family together? Its supposed to my day and my husbands day and even picturing it now makes me too stressed out to bother with a wedding...or marriage...or love.
If I have to go through the constant stress and pressure of pleasing a split irrational family and I hate it why would I welcome a man I love to do the same? No one should have to go through that- especially with my family.
And please do not get me wrong- I love all of my family- I just wish they could get over some issues and love each other- or at least fake a smile so I can get my darn picture.
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