stuck between a rock and a laundry pile.

Do you ever make comments that you don't really mean? You know, those off-handed whims of, "You're welcome to stay as long as you want" when what you really mean is, "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE I HAVE MOUNTAINS OF LAUNDRY TO TEND TO!".

I was always under the impression that this genre of commentary from gracious hosts should be appreciated but never redeemed. Apparently not everyone is of the same belief. Crap.

Last week, at a bar, drink in hand (which I think should automatically excuse me from responsibility to such outrageous gestures as this) I haphazardly told a friend if she transferred to my town she could live with me and my boyfriend. *Insert giggles and comments of how fun it would be* and that was that. I never for one second thought she would actually take me up on the offer until the next morning when I realized she is exactly the type of person to take me up on that kind of offer.


Flash forward to Monday mornings text inbox; there it was. A text asking if she could move in. So I immediatly did what any sane puesdo-gesturing-host would do; I said, "Of course!" And then made my tall latte a venti...it's going to be a long week.

I talked it over with the boyfriend and landlord. Both parties said they'd be fine with it and boyfriend is stoked that his bills will decline. But the internal me is screaming that this is a B-A-D idea. Three people and a fat cat living in a small, cramped, 2-bedroom apartment does not sound like a good mix. Yes we'd save a little money off rent and utilities but I'm used to the lifestyle I've created with my boyfriend. Our dining table has become a congested landing zone for coats, keys, gum wrappers and spare change; bringing a third party into the mix would throw my whole world out of line!

Why? I'm a neat freak that's why.


If company is coming, my place has to be in perfect order. I hate surprise guests just for that reason. Its taken me awhile to let an unfolded blanket sit out for a day or two in front of boyfriend and if I have a person I barely know living with me I will be in a constant panic to clean. I can't do that to myself. Boyfriend said he would be better about picking up after himself once she moves in but hello!? Why can't he do that for me?

Here's my big fear: I play mommy at work to my three interns who I have to shepherd through life while they're in my office; I play mommy to my cat who relies on me for the basic necessities, attention and the occasional cat treat; I play mommy to my boyfriend who I have to nag for weeks to take out the recycling, who I cook and clean for, who I've applied for jobs for....I can't play mommy to anyone else and thats exactly what would happen in this situation with my needy friend.

I don't even want kids!! How did I get into this mess? Better yet, how do I get out???