"E" is for Effort

The past few conversations I've held with my legitimate gal pals always seem to wind back to the topic of friends, or should I say, "friends". It's really disappointing to find yourself the only one reaching out to keep a friendship alive. Its basically fighting a losing war.

Though comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way, my gal pals don't see the point of maintaining a relationship when its pretty obvious this "friend" doesn't really care about you. They are simply too busy living their own lives to take a moment out of their day for you. I understand we're all busy, but how long does it take to send a text? I see them on Facebook everyday playing Farmville, can't they spare a moment of photo tagging to check in with someone who is there when they need them? Maybe that's the trouble these days, Facebook has ruined the meaning of "friends". A Facebook friend is someone who is added to your network on a social media website. This "friend" may or may not be someone you know yet we call them "friends".

Every few weeks I try and go through my Facebook friends list and delete people who arn't really my friends. Why would I want them knowing my every status and photo tag when we don't even speak or hang out in person? Last year I got a TON of flack when I deleted some "friends". I actually knew these people but they were clearly uninterested in being my friend. I would invite them to my parties, out to events, anything to include everyone. Yet when they would have parties or a girls night I was always forgotten. I mentioned it a few times but nothing changes so I'd had it and deleted them. They sent me messages calling me out, saying how immature it was to do when days earlier they had cussed me out on facebook for posting a spoiler to a popular tv series....and I'm immature? These people arn't your friends...they just want you on their "friends list" to look popular. A sort of social netowrking survivial strategy if you will.



Now friends arn't all bad, they are there when you need them but if there's no life crisis or epic gossip to share they disappear like gypsies with the East wind. What's happened to friends? Do we honestly not have any concern for anyone but ourselves?


I'm not saying I'm a perfect friend. I often remind myself to call or text a friend if it's a been a while. But suddenly I'm tired of being the one who keep the bonds of a friendship together. I feel like I'm always the one who checks in via text or phone call. I'm the one who writes on their facebook wall to make THEM feel special and what do I get? Nothing but a "Thanks" or a "I'm fine". Not to say I don't appreciate the "thanks" and the "I'm fine"; at least they replied right? That must be a good sign...but what about a "How are you?"or a "What's new?". At least pretend to care about my life.

Did I mention the friends that I do have are the flakiest friends ever? Especially when it comes to committing to an event. If you can't go to an event due to your budget or schedule or just don't want to; please just say NO. I promise I won't be offended. Don't say maybe when you mean no, don't say yes when you mean no, JUST SAY NO when you mean no! Why are we so ashamed to say "NO" to anything or anyone? We are the "YES" generation but that doesn't mean we can't say "NO" from time to time. Maybe it was the whole "Just Say No To Drugs" campaign that ruined it for us. In the beginning we were willing to say no. No to drugs, no to sex, no to skinny jeans...and then one fine day we said, "YES". We gave in and took a try and "Hey wow this *insert whatever you tried* isn't so bad, in fact, it's awesome, I'm going to say YES!" And now we've forgotten how to say no.


I think it's time for me to take a stand and say "NO" to these friends of mine. I'm tired of holding the skimpy remains of our friendship together and thinking it means something to the other person. They are too busy for me and I've finally gotten the hint. It's a waste of my energy and quite frankly, its taking a toll on my emotions and I'm probably better off without them.

friend·ship   [frend-ship] –noun
1. the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.
2. a friendly relation or intimacy.
3. friendly feeling or disposition.

I'm not getting the true definition of friendship from these people so I'll take my business elsewhere. For my loyalty and perseverance I get an "E" for effort....but my "friends" get an "F" for fail.