Facebook creeping seldom leads me to snooping into my old boyfriends life but today I couldn't help but swoop in for a quick snoop. Obviously the fact I refer to him as my "old boyfriend" verses my "ex-boyfriend" should clue you in that there is a special place for him in my heart. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything--including love. Despite all the awful things we went through and the wretched things we did to one another I will always have a love for that man. Not necessarily a want-to-be-with-him-forever love, but definitely a makes-me-stop-and-reminisce kind of love.
We've both moved on (and apparently moved-in) with our new significant others and even though it's not my place to feel anything about that, I still don't know how to do feel about that. I've been with my boyfriend for over two years now, he's been with his for maybe a year, I'm not sure of their exact dating history, I just know it's been about one year since I found out he had a girlfriend. He was living the single party boy life for two years after we split so I knew he must have found someone amazing to make it official. But I didn't realize just how official. Creeping on his Facebook lead me to creep on her Facebook which lead me to read everything posted on her wall. One recent wall post makes note of someone coming to stay with "them" and using "their" futon. If they share a futon, I can only assume they share a residence. This came as a shocking surprise to me and I'm not sure why. I live with my significant other, why wouldn't he live with his?
I guess my emotional confusion stems from the fact that I've prepared myself for each of us to move on in terms of getting new boyfriends and girlfriends but I think I stopped after that mental prep and forgot that with new boyfriends and girlfriends, come all new lives. After the new boyfriend and girlfriend comes the shared apartment, the shared bank account, and then the shared last name. Obviously we've both moved on but it's still a weird feeling to see the once love of your life move on (and move in) without you.
And though I will say I am way cuter, she's still really pretty, and I am happy for them and their futon.
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