I've been secretly hoping my old summer flame turned year-long affair would contact me and yesterday he did. Funny how quickly the feelings return. I'd deleted him off my Facebook in hopes that having no access to his life would make me forget he was in my life. The plan has yet to prove successful as he still crosses my mind almost daily...though not as much as he used to.
And then he wrote.
He asked but one simple question, "You deleted me off FB again???" and I gave him my honest answer that seeing his life via status update and default photo only made me miss him and think about him more than I already do.
And then he replied.
Said I "cross his mind too" but he thought I hated him. I don't hate him and I promptly told him I have no reason to. He's the only man in the past six years that I could have honestly pictured myself being happy with. I can picture marrying him and having children with him and living happily ever after with him.
And that scares the shit out of me.
So I delete him off my Facebook and throw memories of him out of my life for fear that I could be happy.
And that saddens me.
And then he wrote.
He asked but one simple question, "You deleted me off FB again???" and I gave him my honest answer that seeing his life via status update and default photo only made me miss him and think about him more than I already do.
And then he replied.
Said I "cross his mind too" but he thought I hated him. I don't hate him and I promptly told him I have no reason to. He's the only man in the past six years that I could have honestly pictured myself being happy with. I can picture marrying him and having children with him and living happily ever after with him.
And that scares the shit out of me.
So I delete him off my Facebook and throw memories of him out of my life for fear that I could be happy.
And that saddens me.
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