To Be or Not To Be

I don't want to settle for normal but that's all I see myself doing.

I got to thinking about high school last night and how in those days I swore I would be something bigger and better than normal. I was going to rock this world and no one could stop me. I was so ambitious, ready for the world, ready for life. But the older I get the more scared I am to do something outside the box. I like job security, I like having health insurance, I like knowing that on the 10th and 25th of the month there will be money in my bank account. Now that money is only there for a brief moment, but it's there, and thats what matters. What's happened to me? When and why I did suddenly become so content with my 9-to-5 life?

I know I can only truly place the blame on myself but I partially blame it on boyfriend. He's perfectly happy to settle with what he's got and has no intention to search for more. Boyfriend doesn't have the ambition and drive that I thrive on and I worry that he is slowly sucking the ambition out of me. I need someone who will be by my side pushing me and almost competing with me to be better than I was before but I find myself settling for who I am.

Is it better to settle for who we are or to push toward who we want to be?